Personal blog

Hey everybody, sorry I’ve been dead for a while, and I am hoping to come back here soon given all the shit that has gone down in terms of college (if you want to know you can ask.)

In the meantime, here is my newly minted personal blog. Follow if you wish.

*Kicks open the door growling and foaming at the mouth* FUUUUUUUU TOO MANY NERDS FUCKING AROUND HERE. NICE HAT YOU SHITTING DICK NIPPLE.

Jacobus holds onto his hat so that it doesn’t fly off his head due to the wind of profanity. “Ah, its good to see you as well, dearest Sister Andromeda. How do you and your order fair? Kicked the teeth into some shit-fucking heretics recently?”

Brutis enters Colberts office placing a stack for disciplinary reports on his desk. "Well this is the latest batch think we can have Ace deal with the new hivers in C company?"

Jacobus bows his head in defeat. “Should have known that paperwork would catch up with me eventually.” Jacobus looked over the C-company report. “I’ll send Ace right away to set the record straight with the hivers.”

A round section of ceiling falls at your feet and you look up to see a rotund man poking his head out of the hole and staring at you while sweating profusely "Your back. This brings me a significant amount of pleasure." He recedes back into the hole in the ceiling "I will fix this later."
Anonymous

Jacobus takes out his bolt pistol and proceeds to put holes in the ceiling.

Let me Find Out-Commy J, feat. Lil Ace & Gunny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfizUu2cCw

Commy J:

Lemme find out these heretics are hatin’ on our Lord,
And for they whole life service, they spend eternity below
They die in vain, unremembered,
And on they graves, that’s my statue
I’d need to be on Obscura, just to talk to ‘em
Shrine world, big thrones, guardsmen, I make bold moves
They say big J sick, he’s like Yarrick without his ork tools
Bring out the basilisk boom,
I’mma BLAM all these heretics,
Give you one bolt, and you’re dead,
And your heathen gods too!

Lemme find out you like to praise Nurgle,
Lemme find out you like to praise Slaanesh,
Lemme find out your daemonhost is grot, son, you know nothing,
Lemme find out you’re paying Him lip service, I come through like a Baneblade.
Your 21, just started fighting
Let me find out you’re waylaid
Armageddon, hear what I say,
Ulimbia, you talk to me,
I’ve got so many Ogryns, I’ll rip you open like a ripper gun,
Ultramar, let me find out,
Holy Terra, let me find out,
Death Korps, Ornsworld, Fenris, Vraks, and Cadia….

<Hook>
Let me find out
Let me find out
Let me find out
Heretic, let me find out
x2

(I might do the other verses at some point but for now have this thing that i made with no shame at all.)

Yay! You're back!
Anonymous

For a bit, anyway.

……

Well commissar, I got you this sweet coat to look more scary and commissar like as your wedding gift. Wear it with much pride.

After rummaging through the various wedding gifts, Jacobus comes across a jet-black, shining commissariat coat. He beams when he reads the note attached with it, seeing as it is from his old comrade Victoria.

He immediately sets out to write a reply vox.

Victoria, it has been a long time, old friend. I am glad you thought of me on this most holy of occasions. Best of luck, and may the Emperor allow our paths to cross again in His service.

Lord Commissar Jacobus Colbert

A small text message from a source off the ship is left for Colbert to read. The stamps on it appear to be astartes and mechanicus in nature. "Commissar Colbert I hope you are doing well?" - Signed Galmech

Jacobus writes a reply message for Galmech.

Hail, my lord techmarine. It has been a long time since last we fought together in His name. I am doing quite well, seeing as how I am married and am now in effective command of the Commissariat in our sector. How go your battles?

Lord Commissar Jacobus Colbert

"Death Korps" as penned by Lord Commissar Jacobus Colbert during his tenure among the Death Korps of Krieg

Called into war, to serve a vision that has lasted for ten thousand years,
Part of the machine, unstoppable, as merciless as tidal waves
Were they blessed with ignorance? Or proud part of His own dream?
People of the Imperium, whisper of their deeds……

Time and again, they battle forces that drive lesser men to insanity
Though casualties rise, and comrades die around them, they cannot cease at all……..
Men with a death wish, or just soldiers full of faith?
Grand advances of their lines, seem unreal at times……

<Chorus>

RUSSES ON A LINE
FORM THE DEATH KORPS’ SPINE
WRATH OF THE END-TIMES
What about the men dying in the trenches?
RUSSES ON A LINE
FORM THE DEATH KORPS’ SPINE
WRATH OF THE END-TIMES
What about the men dying in the trenches?

Ad Victoriam!
Ex Machina!

Non Sibi
Sed Patriae!

Called into war, to serve a vision that has lasted for ten thousand years,
Part of the machine, unstoppable, as merciless as tidal waves
Were they blessed with ignorance? Or proud part of His own dream?
People of the Imperium, whisper of their deeds……

<Chorus>